My friend Jane takes awfulizing to the absolute max.When her college student daughter calls to say she’s coming home for the weekend, Jane’s imagination usually accelerates into the following wildly unreasonable and negative chain reaction:
- “What if she runs out of gas on the interstate or has a flat tire and a serial killer stops to help her? Must renew her pepper spray keychain. Now where did I buy that last time, the gun shop?
- “It’ll be dark before she gets home and there might be drunks on the highway. Hope she isn’t one of them. Oh dear God, she’s not drinking this early in the day, is she?
- “What if she’s on her cell phone and rams the back of a car? She purely flies down that passing lane and follows too closely. I’ve told her to leave one car length for every 10 mph, but does she ever listen to me? Hmph, drives like her father.
- “What if she gets a speeding ticket and causes our exorbitant insurance rate to skyrocket? Must nag husband to comparison shop insurance companies. Oh yeah, must also find out where he was the other night as the poker game got canceled and he still stayed gone for hours and never a word of explanation. But that means I’d have to start speaking to him again. What if he’s seeing another woman? I’ll kill him. Spending money on some bimbo when he’s tight as a tick with me. I’ll take him to the cleaners, by golly, and then I’ll pay off my credit cards.
- “Why am I worrying about him when it’s my child I need to focus on? Maybe I’ll call now to see how far she’s gotten down the road. No. Wait. She’ll wreck when she’s digging for her phone.
- “Yikes, I better get online and make sure she has money on her check card for gas. I can’t believe how these freaking oil companies jack up prices and still close down their pumps. Soon we won’t have any gas at all. I’ll have to start taking the bus to work and there isn’t one that even goes by the house. What’ll I do then?
- “I can’t live like this.”
And on and on… (see YouTube video of Loretta LaRoche: Catastrophizing and Awfulizing).
Negative vs. Positive Thinking
Some definitions from positive thinking and behavioral psychology articles and Web sites include 1) imagining something to be as bad as it can possibly be; 2) taking a situation or a problem and turning it into a terrible, intolerable situation; 3) complaining and characterizing a mundane issue as some horrible, catastrophic occurrence; 4) exaggerating the severity of an event; and 5) projecting horrible outcomes that have not yet occurred (click here at mindset for performance.com and here at innerself.ca to read more about awfulizing and how to rechannel that negative energy into positive thinking and results).
According to a Reuters Health article, pessimism can up the risk of death in heart patients. A Duke University Medical Center study has found that people with heart disease who have a pessimistic outlook are much more likely to die early compared to those who are more optimistic about their situation.
“The take-home message” for heart patients “is that having positive expectations can not only make you feel better but also potentially live longer,” said Dr. John Barefoot, who presented the findings at the American Psychosomatic Society Annual Meeting in March.
In my view, this doesn't bode well for awfulizers, who draw pessimistic thoughts out to the nth degree.
A similar article, “Positive Thinking as a Habit” from ithinketh.com, states that “when we think of things we want, we should think of them and how to acquire them in a positive way.” So, don’t say “I will not eat junk food, or I have to go on a diet.” Say “I will eat healthy food consistent with the body weight I want to attain.”
Jane read this article and said, “I will eat healthy food consistent with the body weight I want to attain…tomorrow” at the Wendy’s drive-in just before supersizing her order. She’s halfway there, I guess.
Stop Awfulizing
In her article “How to Stop Awfulizing,” Christine Cadena lists the following tips to improve overactive thoughts of negativity (to which I comment in the parentheses):
1) Exercise (Raise those pesky endorphins)
2) Journal (Write down the positive; get in control of events, for heaven’s sake)
3) Paint with music to give visual expression to negative emotions (Aha! Take a look at some Jackson Pollock. And what’s up with Picasso’s synthetic cubism and the woman in an armchair? Could these guys have perfected the art of awfulizing?)
4) Interact with social network (Engage positive thinkers and motivators. Unfortunately, Jane’s hubby is as much as gloom-and-doomer as she is. Two weeks ago, he upset Jane by predicting that Hurricane Hanna would tear through the state and wreak the same havoc as Hugo in the 1980s. It didn’t come close, but Jane’s husband now has plenty of batteries, bottled water and a shelf full of Beanie Weenies just in case)
A Fair Weather Outlook
As her imaginary friend (IF), I try to help Jane, but she’s stubborn about taking my advice. I get annoyed, so I turn to satisfying pursuits such as color-coordinating my life and finding designer shoes at fabulous prices. There is something to be said for shallow; if I were real, I’d live longer than Jane. I shouldn’t put her down too much though. She does occasionally break out of her pessimistic shell with sporadic tennis games followed by bubble-headed lunches with her girlfriends at the country club.
But perhaps Dorothy Parker, the American writer, poet and critic, practiced the art of awfulizing better than anyone else. It’s said that she always answered her telephone with the greeting, “What fresh hell is this?”
